Why did I leave the classoom? Was it because I didn't want to spend yet another year repeating the third grade? haha! Was it because I was tired of teaching already? Well. No, and no to a lot of other questions similar to those. The most prominent reason I left was because I had a little beaming girl at home whose smile I couldn't get out of my mind and this nagging problem: I was giving my everything for these precious dears who needed a someone to teach them, to believe in them, to love them (which is what a teacher's real job is) and all the while, my dearest little dear was under someone else's care. I BURNED inside to be with HER. I know moms chose to work for many different reasons and I did-for a time, but it was time I invested time in my own Love.
Don't think it was an easy decision. On the contrary. Have you ever had to make a LIFE ALTERING, people think you're crazy to cut your income by TWO-THIRDS, no telling where we'll end up on this JOURNEY kind of decision? Well, of course, sure you have.
This time was one of those. In 2012, a year after my Ava was born, I took the plunge. I left the career I'd prepared for for years. I left my pay check, the security it promised every month and I left a lifestyle. Do you MISS any of it? Sure. I do miss it sometimes, but I stepped out on faith and hoped that God would take care of us. Faith means trusting in God to do what HE deems is best for you. (Just learned that.) Faith isn't something we can muster up enough of to pull ourselves through a hard time, a challenging chapter.
Anyway, I took the plunge with my husband's prayerful permission. I became a stay at home mom (SAHM) which I didn't know what that acronym meant until last year! ha! So we decided it was best for our family to have me here. Sometimes I say, in my prison, small home with so many toys and stray socks, I can hardly walk. ;) But, it's worth it. Its the darn hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life- why? Because being a parent who wants the best for her girls pushes my buttons, pulls me to the edge of the cliff and leaves me a deflated balloon at the end of the day. BUT if I had never taken this step of faith (step sounds like a small move), then I wouldn't have opened myself up to know all these terrible things about my ugly self that God is changing about me. Oh, joy! :) Chuckle. Here we are two years later and I'm adjusting. One day, I can say to my girls- look what your mom did for you. And hopefully, they'll appreciate it. In the mean time, I can kiss their cheeks whenever I want and know that I'm giving my all (and then some in the reserve tank) to give them what they need each minute of each day.
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Taking joy in encouraging others at home, at school and at play!